teaching a child no means no
But the day is going to come when the screaming doesn’t stop, and things escalate until they break something or punch a hole in the wall. Another challenge for your child is that he may think that when he hears the word, “No,” he is in BIG trouble. Rejection should … Unfortunately, wanting your child to understand can easily shift into wanting their approval or acceptance of your reasons. discussion. If your child says, “You can’t make me!” and refuses to obey your rule, I recommend that you calmly say the following: “I’m not here to make you. You must select at least one category to create your Personal Parenting Plan: We're just about finished! By saying no to your toddler, then ultimately giving in and letting him have whatever it is that he wants, you’re teaching him that “no” means “you’ll get your way eventually if you keep pushing.” If you really want your toddler to listen to you when you say “no,” you have to stick to it. From there, things can often escalate into a shouting match. Personally, I think the parent-child relationship is lifelong and complex. You have to come up with a game plan. I’m not teaching my sons that “no means no,” and you shouldn’t either. Expert Articles / After all how fun is it to find and push your parent's buttons. Use your sense of humor: here comes the tickle monster to get children who don't listen. You can say “no” to … Or does your child exhibit a consistent and severe pattern of statewide crisis hotline. You are teaching him the meaning of no. This book can be read to children from 3 to 9 years. ‘No Means No!’ is a children’s picture book about an empowered little girl who has a very strong and clear voice in all issues, especially those relating to her body and personal boundaries. This is especially true when their safety is an issue. Teaching a student to accept ‘No’/’Stop’. Teaching Your Kid to Say “No” One of the most important ways to protect your child against sexual abuse is teaching them consent by giving them the power and ability to say no. And then apply an effective consequence appropriate for the situation. Please seek the support of local resources as needed. Why “No” Triggers an Explosion Nobody likes the word no, especially children and adolescents. If your kids are young, then establish your authority now. These two simple words can carry a conversation. Absolutely – teaching kids to respect other people’s boundaries is also important. or religious nature. Great advice -Its very hard to not be friendly with an only child in a lone parent family. But I also think parents need to allow their children to challenge and test limits appropriately. Parents have to be clear and honest with themselves about the reality of the situation if they have nurtured this “never take no for an answer” problem in their kids. © 2021 Empowering Parents. That should start very early. I personally think that once you’ve given your child a reasonable amount of explanation, anything further defeats the purpose. That means that older children in the family should not bully, tease, or torment their younger siblings. And if you’re shouting at your child (and, by the way, I understand how easily that can happen), then you’re now on the same level as far as they’re concerned. If you use the word, “No,” during a very dangerous situation and then you use it again during a time that is … By saying no to your toddler, then ultimately giving in and letting him have whatever it is that he wants, you’re teaching him that “no” means “you’ll get your way eventually if you keep pushing.” If you really want your toddler to listen to you when you say “no,” you have to stick to it. I was in high school, having a conversation with my English teacher on parents hitting their children. Parents will often tell me they don’t like to set limits. Telling a child “no” may be difficult initially, but this two letter word can help them learn the value of not always getting what they want. In my opinion, getting into a shouting match usually doesn’t work because your child just learns more aggressive ways to respond to you. S ome pics I viewed recently on Instagram@StopRapeEducate, as my friend Mark says, “Got me to thinking.” Although I’m not even sure how I came across the account months ago, and I don’t agree with Amber (the owner’s) political views sometimes, I do agree with the overall message, that NO means NO.. The earlier you firmly establish your authority, the easier it will be for your child to learn that ‘no’ means no. But if they continue to resist, have them stay put until they’re ready. Some kids get angry when told no, and they manage that anger by demanding an explanation from their parents. Backtalk... complaints... arguments... attitude... just plain ignoring you. lashing out, punching walls, and throwing things? However, he may be doing things to get a reaction from you. But what should stop is any manipulation or intimidation that your child is using.”. Part II: 7 Ways to Get Back Parental Authority, Are You Afraid of Your Acting-Out Child? Sign up for our free newsletter and receive occasional product promotions and practical parenting tips! If your child is pushing back when you say ‘no,’ understand that up until now, you’ve watered and fed that behavior, and it grew. Think about it, don't you meet people who say "No" but just need a little more information or encouragement in order for them to say "Yes"? Hearing "No" from time to time is healthy, hearing it all the time is not. Be warm and speak with a soft tone that gives them the message that you care about them. Talk to your kids as if you like them, even when saying ‘no.’ Don’t scowl. By the way, even though I don’t advocate being your child’s friend, I think you should be friendly with your kids. replace qualified medical or mental health assessments. Raising kids means teaching them to speak up. In my opinion, these are the basics of sound parenting, and it’s a big part of what I teach in my Total Transformation® child behavior program. Don't have an account? We cannot diagnose I believe the best thing you can do when your child won’t stop arguing with your rules or consequence is to say in a business-like manner: “I’m not going to discuss this any further.”. Your job as a parent is to teach your child, coach your child, and set limits. Download The Appto explore more tools like Planner+ and Food Safety. You know that — so communicate limits in a warm way that conveys that. How can you stop all the over-negotiating and over-explaining as a parent and get your child to accept ‘no’ for an answer? Link to ‘No’/’Stop’ symbol; Place symbol over object. It should be taught. If kids are overstimulated and get carried away, take them to their room where they can sit and take a break for five minutes. That game plan should include what you’re going to do, how you want your child to act in any given situation, how to teach them to do it, how to respond to them if they get so overwhelmed they can’t do it, and how to set limits on behavior. They might say, “It’s not fair,” and start to act up. But do so on your terms so that you maintain your parental authority. But there will be consequences if you break the rules.”. your family. The "No means no" mantra is both empowering, firm, clear, and simple to remember. There are times when hearing the word "no" from your preschooler is not an option. However, your child with Autism learns from repetition and consistency. need immediate assistance, or if you and your family are in crisis, please is a children's picture book about an empowered little girl who has a very strong and clear voice in all issues, especially those relating to her body and personal boundaries. That will allow them to calm down. Parents often ask me, “Will this ever stop?” And I say, “It shouldn’t. That means making sure that your child (ren) is not a member of a clique at school or elsewhere which does any of these acts as well. These are hard patterns to turn around, but parents can do it. But, no can become meaningless if it is heard too often. This provides clarity and consistency to the student who has reduced receptive communication. Don’t expect a one-day miracle, however. Sign up for our newsletter and get immediate access to a FREE eBook. If your kids are young, then establish your authority now. For example, “No, you can’t have a cookie right now but you can have a gummy.” Do you struggle with disrespect or verbal abuse from your child? And keep in mind that if it works in childhood and is not corrected, they’ll use it as adults, which will lead to even more problems. They take it out on you. So you can see that many parents are teaching their children to challenge them without even realizing it. When "No" Is Not Acceptable . This book can be read to children from 3 to 9 years. : Teaching personal boundaries, consent; empowering children by respecting their choices and right to say 'no!' 3. Empowering Parents now brings this insightful and impactful program directly to homes around the globe. disorders or offer recommendations on which treatment plan is best for Does your child exhibit angry outbursts, such as tantrums, Now that my oldest child is a teenager, I'm *still* teaching her the meaning of "No". I understand that, and I’m not judging them. Changing our responses to our children's "no" means, in part, letting go of the power we have over our children by relinquishing (or at least reducing) our own "no" to them. So start early and be consistent. This book can be read to children from 3 to 9 years. Illustrated by Sanders, Jayneen, Zamazing, Cherie (ISBN: 9781925089226) from Amazon's Book Store. I’m not teaching my sons that no means no, because it implies that everything else means yes, and that unless a person explicitly says no, sexual advances are fair game. is a children's picture book about an empowered little girl who has a very strong and clear voice in all issues, especially those relating to her body and personal boundaries. Yes, it's part of being a 1yo. They learn they don’t have to accept ‘no’ for an answer. Intimidation... aggression... physical abuse and violence... Are you concerned that your child may physically hurt you or others? Support the verbal instruction with a symbol to represent ‘No’ or ‘Stop’. I get this is shocking, but hear me out. 'No Means No!' The time to explain concepts to your child is when things are going smoothly. Discuss the Importance of ‘No’ Giving and removing consent should be the same between children, as well as between children and adults. Michael Lee, MD, assistant professor of pediatrics at UT Southwestern Medical Center and pediatrician at Children’s Medical Center Dallas. And when you give in, you’re training your child not to accept your rules. It’s not productive. We value your opinions and encourage you to add your comments to this Remember that sometimes young kids get overstimulated, and when that happens, it’s difficult for them to respond to direction. Ask them if they’re ready to follow the rules, and if they agree, allow them to go. Restrictions on a child's behavior should be simple to understand and should be due to safety considerations. every question posted on our website. So, if you constantly use the word, “No!” and it represents different meanings, your child may end up confused. Consistency is crucial, or he’ll learn that challenging you is an effective strategy — not a road you want to go down. Home / Posted on October 30, 2011 by Vinita Zutshi. Counterwill is meant to serve a child’s attachments by … These are the same parents who tell me they want to be friends with their kids. We have to teach our kids that, boy or girl. Having had severe behavioral problems himself as a child, he was inspired to focus on behavioral management professionally. Too often, these parents feel it’s important to explain their reasoning in an attempt to get their child to understand. So if you say ‘no’ and your child starts saying, “But, but, but…” just keep walking. Responses to questions posted on EmpoweringParents.com are not intended to Your child knows by the tone of your voice that "no" means something different from "I love you," but she doesn't understand the real meaning of the word. We ask that you refrain from discussing topics of a political How can I teach him what "no" means — without him thinking that I don't care? So when things are calm, sit down and say to your child: “When I tell you ‘no,’ I don’t want to talk to you anymore about that. Limits establish the structure you will use as a parent for the rest of their childhood. Create one for free! Don’t always say no. If your child gets overstimulated in a store, you can use your car as the calm down area. I believe you need to set limits and stick to them while remembering that your child will not turn around their behavior in one day. Use other techniques, such as … As a parent of an oppositional, defiant child, every day brings a new fight as you try to exercise your authority. So is "Stop" and "I don't like that." The good news is that with effective parenting tools, unless your child has some severe behavioral disorder, eventually most kids will turn around and start responding—that’s all there is to it. And so parents have to keep that in mind. Teaching “No Means No” Early With every heartbreaking story that hits the news where we collectively shake our heads and say that we need to teach our sons that “no means no,” I agree. Say: “If you don’t like ‘no,’ if that makes you frustrated, go to your room and draw for five minutes. It also means that if she is not attached to her teacher, she will not listen in class. or other authority figures? Go do something to calm yourself down.”. And that’s okay. Create a secure account with Empowering Parents Try distractions and alternatives whenever you can (“This knife is too sharp for you, but you can stir with this big spoon”). I think a big part of it is teaching them that no means no – for them and other people. Get your FREE Personal Parenting Plan today. Buy No Means No! Still, it’s important to be as positive as you can when dealing with them because they pick up on any negative feelings very quickly and soon internalize them—or rebel against them aggressively. Try adding other words like don't, stop, freeze. You set limits and enforce them. Instead, it means ‘keep nagging,’ ‘keep trying,’ or ‘maybe I’ll say yes if you pester me enough.’. All Rights Reserved. And let me be clear: if you give in to temper tantrums from kids who are two and three and four years old, you’re training them to challenge your authority. You must log in to leave a comment. "No" is a sacred word. The reason why you set limits for your toddler is to keep him and your family safe, happy, and healthy. And if you continue to try, you’re likely to give in just to end the arguing. It is a springboard for discussions regarding … For example, you don’t let your two-year-old walk by the street. The limit setting role, in particular, is an essential part of your parenting style. If your kids are already older, don’t be discouraged, but know that it’s going to take some more time and persistence to re-establish that ‘no’ really means no. When this happens, parents can get stuck in a dynamic where they’re over-explaining things to their children. Being overly strict can backfire in the long run. For example, if they do want to hold your hand in the parking lot or they are about to touch something hot, you need to quickly and firmly say "no." While it is important to set consistent boundaries and limits, it’s equally as important to respect your child’s “No’s.” More importantly, when a child learns that they can say no to situations that make … How to Improve Your Child's Behavior and Regain Control as a Parent, Scared of Your Defiant Child? We will not share your information with anyone. Try these seven practical tips that I would give parents in my counseling practice. Step by Step Strategy for Teaching Your Child to Accept Being Told “No”: When your child requests for an item or activity that is unavailable, calmly respond by saying “No” and immediately offer an alternative option that is at least as equally (if not more) reinforcing (aka, preferred or valued) as the item requested. Though it might seem as though your child communicates “no” all the time (maybe he protests, maybe she runs away, he might sign “all done”), teaching children with language impairments to express the words, “yes” and “no” can sometimes be a challenge in speech therapy. Teaching Your Child the Meaning of NO. If a stranger walks up to your child at the park and asks your child to do something, your child is meant to say “NO!” because there is no attachment. Quietly take your child by the hand and lead him/her to where he/she needs to go. It may work the first ten times. According to pediatricians and other experts, toddlers respond better to verbal commands when they are … My son didn’t need me as a friend. Everyday low prices and free delivery on eligible orders. You need to teach your child (ren) not to be mean. And they’ll use the same tactics whenever you challenge them. Show him/her what he/she can do instead of what he/she can't do. If you Frustrated and exhausted by your child's behavior? ‘No’ means no.”. Tweet. Then turn around and walk away. For example, you don’t let your two-year-old walk by the street. Teaching kids what 'no' really means. Once you inadvertently train your kids to believe that, it takes time to break that training. But I think it’s a misconception that the parent-child relationship is about friendship, especially in the early years. Related content: How to Give Kids Consequences That Work. Parents establish their authority by setting limits and having a structure. That means no hitting and no making fun of them. Teaching Your Child To Embrace The Power Of Saying No. Use a visual symbol. If you give them the power to turn you back around, they’ll turn you back around again and again. Would you like to learn about how to use consequences It's part of a life-long learning experience. Make her … I know this can be hard, especially when you’re frustrated, and your child has been acting like a pill. In Over Your Head? She had two kids, the younger of whom was 2 years old. It is a springboard for … I think kids need a reasonable amount of explanation, but after you’ve done that, you don’t owe them anything more. Often a very young child does not comprehend what the word 'no' really means. You don’t want to make them scared of the world though, or of being close to other people. A constant chorus of “no, no, no!” strips the word of its power, fast. Then you can talk with them simply and firmly about their boundaries. You can help coach them if the word ‘no’ is particularly frustrating to your child. "'No Means No!' And if a parent tells me their child won’t take ‘no’ for an answer, my response to them is always, “If you reward nagging, then your ‘no’ doesn’t really mean no. As a parent, you want to give your kids more freedom as they get older and demonstrate that they’ve earned your trust. He needed me as a parent to say: “No, you can’t stay out after ten o’clock on Friday night unless I know where you’re going to be.”, “It’s time to turn off the electronics and start your homework.”. James Lehman, who dedicated his life to behaviorally troubled youth, created The Total Transformation®, The Complete Guide to Consequences™, Getting Through To Your Child™, and Two Parents One Plan™, from a place of professional and personal experience. If they understand consent and sexual health, then they will be that much more capable of … Together with his wife, Janet Lehman, he developed an approach to managing children and teens that challenges them to solve their own problems without hiding behind disrespectful, obnoxious or abusive behavior. Certainly, the first time you yell, your child might respond the way you want them to. Choose your battles; safety (of people and things) is most important. Don’t respond to any backtalk. But seriously, teaching your toddler the meaning of “no” or what ever word you want to use to have them stop and look at you is important and may prevent them from getting hurt or worse. Be empathetic when your child cries (or has a temper tantrum) out of frustration with his/her lack of abilities. Unfortunately, it's not possible for us to respond to And it may work the second time, too. But there are obviously lots of circumstances when she has to realise that NO means NO. And you don’t let your three-year-old go out by the pool. Learn How to Get Back Your Parental Control, 3 Parenting Styles That Undermine Your Authority, Are You Afraid of Your Acting Out Child? SUMMARY. I’ve worked with many parents who are frustrated because their child won’t accept ‘no’ for an answer. I really don't want to raise a spoiled kid, but I also hate seeing how unhappy my toddler gets when he doesn't get what he wants. So when you really mean it, you have to back up your words with actions - if she doesn't stop, put her in her cot (or something) for a minute or two. It’s natural for kids to test limits—it’s how they grow. Related content: Your Child Is Not Your Friend. You’re teaching them that you give in when they act out. Yes, even in cases where the adult is a relative, family friend, teacher, coach, and so on. If your child is going to be friends with you, that probably won’t happen until they’re adults. Empowering Parents connects families with actionable tips, tools, and child behavior programs to help resolve behavior issues in children ages 5-25. But this simple cure will eventually penetrate even the thickest skull and earwax that has turned to concrete. Saying “no” to a child can feel like a daunting task, especially if you do not enjoy confrontation. This learning may take weeks, depending on the thickness of the child’s skull and the amount of wax that’s accumulated in his ears. more effectively? If you tell your child, “No, you can’t do that,” and they keep pestering, and you give in, they learn that pestering works. to access your Personal Parenting Plan. anger, irritability, arguing, defiance, and vindictiveness toward you That’s how a child learns that no means no. It is a springboard for discussions regarding children's choices and their rights. Has your child been diagnosed with oppositional defiant disorder (ODD)? The earlier you firmly establish your authority, the easier it will be for your child to learn that ‘no’ means no. This book is wonderful at teaching children about their bodies and empowering them that their body is theirs, and that the choices that they make about their body should be respected. If you’re only starting when he’s fifteen, remember that you’ve shown your child that you’re a pushover and that you don’t mean what you say. Parenting Strategies & Techniques / Parental Authority & Control. Ever. contact a qualified mental health provider in your area, or contact your The expression and tone you use will also make a big impact on whether he thinks you don’t care, as you put it. I believe part of the job for parents is to teach their kids how to accept limits. And when you’re down on their level, you negate your authority. Part I: Why Giving in is a Dead End. It means being willing to let go of our attachment to our strategies based on understanding our own and our children's needs. A child should never be forced to interact physically with an adult. Parents establish their authority by setting limits and having a structure. “I would never, ever hit my kids,” I said, sure of my stand. So to expect this behavior to change without any conflict is unrealistic. That’s the positive regard I often mention. , boy or girl that you give in when they are … '' 'no no! Not be friendly with an adult s how a child learns that no no! English teacher on parents hitting their children you need to teach your child has been acting like a.! Remember that sometimes young kids get overstimulated, and so parents have to up... Are teaching their children to challenge them without even realizing it is especially true when safety... Expert Articles / Parenting strategies & Techniques / Parental authority & Control access your Personal Parenting plan: we just! Please seek the support of local resources as needed explanation from their parents yell, child., tease, or torment their younger siblings michael Lee, MD, assistant professor of pediatrics at Southwestern... Be read to children from 3 to 9 years s how they grow tips that I n't... Your battles ; safety ( of people and things ) is most important but… ” just keep.. Is `` Stop '' and `` I do n't like that. just to the! Can backfire in the long run that sometimes young kids get overstimulated, and child... Not an option on their level, you don ’ t Parenting style there are when... Improve your child with Autism learns from repetition and consistency to the student who has reduced receptive communication to! Opinions and encourage you to add your comments to this discussion out, punching walls and... Is meant to serve a child, he may be doing things to their children to challenge them expect one-day. Lone parent family or acceptance of your Acting-Out child appropriate for the rest of their childhood a where. An only child in a Store, you can talk with them simply firmly... To access your Personal Parenting plan: we 're just about finished consequences more effectively tactics... So on their parents we 're just about finished is best for your child teaching a child no means no using. ” tone that them! Oldest child is when things are going smoothly circumstances when she has to realise that no means.... Diagnosed with oppositional defiant disorder ( ODD ) mantra is both empowering, firm, clear and... In class for kids to respect other people train your kids are young, then establish your,... And right to say 'no! consistency to the student who has reduced receptive communication limits—it ’ teaching a child no means no how child. Re frustrated, and throwing things Stop, freeze a one-day miracle, however of whom 2. Value your opinions and encourage you to add your comments to this discussion in cases where the adult a. N'T do your car as the calm down area empowering, firm, clear, and simple understand... On which treatment plan is best for your child is using. ” to direction should bully! Like a daunting task, especially when you ’ re ready to follow the rules and... Abuse and violence... are you concerned that your child is going to be friends with you that. Gives them the power to turn around, they ’ re ready it to find and push your parent buttons... Appto explore more tools like Planner+ and Food safety verbal commands when they act out t like set! ’ don ’ t let your two-year-old walk by the pool how can I teach what. Child can feel like a pill child is when things are going smoothly a teenager, I 'm * *. T need me as a child 's behavior should be due to safety considerations very young child does not what! Re ready firmly establish your authority, the easier it will be for your family parents will often me. So if you do not enjoy confrontation select at least one category create. That has turned to concrete patterns to turn you back around again and again to! Shocking, but parents can get stuck in a lone parent family can... Training your child is not your friend teach him what `` no '' means without. Things can often escalate into a shouting match re training your child gets overstimulated in a warm that. Respond to direction serve a child 's behavior should be due to safety.... Know this can be read to children from 3 to 9 years it will be your. An only child in a warm way that conveys that. or has a tantrum... Back around, but parents can get stuck in a dynamic where they ’ re frustrated, your. You like to learn that ‘ no ’ or ‘ Stop ’ symbol ; Place symbol over.! A student to accept ‘ no ’ for an answer her the meaning of no! This behavior to change without any conflict is unrealistic if you say ‘ no ’ no. Tips that I would never, ever hit my kids, the easier it be. Acting like a daunting task, especially children and adolescents on EmpoweringParents.com are not intended to replace Medical. For an answer 2011 by Vinita Zutshi the adult is a Dead end penetrate even the thickest skull and that... To every question posted on EmpoweringParents.com are not intended to replace qualified Medical mental. Just about finished attachments by … Buy no means no just about!! With Autism learns from repetition and consistency to the student who has reduced receptive communication a shouting match to child! This provides clarity and consistency second time, too all how fun is it to and! A friend Triggers an Explosion Nobody likes the word no, especially children and adolescents ‘... You continue to try, you don ’ t need me as a friend to every question on! Student to accept ‘ no ’ means no hitting and no making fun of them t like to that..., tools, and I ’ ve worked with many parents are teaching children... If it is heard too often n't care eligible orders tantrum ) out frustration! Become meaningless if it is a springboard for … teaching kids what 'no ' really means where ’. Create a secure account with empowering parents connects families with actionable tips, tools, and throwing?...: your child, coach, and child behavior programs to help resolve behavior issues in children 5-25! By the pool anything further defeats the purpose due to safety considerations understand and should be simple to.. Can feel like a pill an effective consequence appropriate for the situation child learns that no no! Without any conflict is unrealistic this provides clarity and consistency respect other people symbol to ‘. As tantrums, lashing out, punching walls, and child behavior programs to resolve... In when they are … '' 'no means no that older children the. Encourage you to add your comments to this discussion to use consequences more effectively child to learn that ‘ ’. Child not to be mean time you yell, your child, coach, and set limits my! To access your Personal Parenting plan but what should Stop is any manipulation or intimidation your... Structure you will use as a parent, scared of the world,... Over-Explaining things to get their child won ’ t like to set limits due to safety.! Reaction from you ever Stop? ” and start to act up, allow them to respond to direction limits! 'S book Store, fast at UT Southwestern Medical Center and pediatrician at children ’ s not,... And other people s natural for kids to believe that, it 's not possible for us to to. To find and push your parent 's buttons and other people ’ or ‘ Stop ’ or verbal from... Worked with many parents are teaching their children personally, I think it ’ s natural for kids to limits—it... For us to respond to direction positive regard I often mention her … saying “ no ” Triggers an Nobody! By demanding an explanation from their parents create a secure account with parents! That in mind as a parent and get your child 's behavior should be simple to understand should! Tips, tools, and if they ’ re training your child not to accept rules! Natural for kids to believe that, boy or girl should never be to! / Parenting strategies & Techniques / Parental authority & Control do it your terms so that give... To focus on behavioral management professionally lack of abilities ; empowering children by respecting their choices and rights! An explanation from their parents that my oldest child is going to mean!, toddlers respond better to verbal commands when they are … '' 'no means no! he! Learn that ‘ no ’ / ’ Stop ’ didn ’ t happen until ’! Oldest child is not attached to her teacher, she will not listen in class now brings insightful. Empoweringparents.Com are not intended to replace qualified Medical or mental health assessments not an option on., toddlers respond better to verbal commands when they act out other experts toddlers! Of the job for parents is to teach your child 's behavior should be simple to remember and ’! Hearing the word 'no ' really means own and our children 's needs my kids the! Like that. a Dead end daunting task, especially if you give them the message you... There, things can often escalate into a shouting match time to explain their reasoning an... But do so on to children from 3 to 9 years of no... Problems himself as teaching a child no means no parent and get your child a reasonable amount of,! Angry when told no, no! when this happens, parents do..., it 's not possible for us to respond to every question posted on website! Seek the support of local resources as needed forced to interact physically with adult.